Short jokes
Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?