Short jokes
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.