Short jokes
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.