Short jokes
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Fortnite is gay and rëtarded.
Sayo-nara.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."