Short jokes
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
My parents love me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Ariana Grande