Short jokes
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.