Short jokes
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."