Short jokes
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Someone stole my balls :(
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
Official orgasm donor.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy