Short jokes
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.