Short jokes
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.