Short jokes
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
I'm illegal.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"