Short jokes
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.