Short jokes
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
This person has Down syndrome.
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.