Short jokes
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
Potato.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
No scope, bitch!
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"