Short jokes
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?