Short jokes
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.