Short jokes

Short jokes

Friend

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Suicide

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

WhatsApp

Most annoying thing...

When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...

Boy

Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.

Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.

Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.

Cat

There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

Zero, they were copycats.

Girl

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

Name

What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?

Stephen Walkins.

Impression

My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

Rape

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.