Short jokes
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.