Footage jokes

I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.

I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Who says white people can't jump?

Have you seen the 911 footage?

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Who said white people can't jump?

Look at the footage from 9/11.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.

I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.