What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
The Emo Shield
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke implies that an "emo kid" can be used as a human shield. Emo kids are known for being overly emotional and (stereotypically) depressed. So, like, who cares if they get hurt, right? I care. I'm a bear.
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