Short jokes
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.