Short jokes
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
So, no head?
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.