Short jokes
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Putin's Brain:
You call, I'm putting on.
Frank (34) DJ.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
I make elevating music; you make elevator music.