Short jokes
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
Why did the wetback cross the river? To get to the US.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Poop and balls through the walls!
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
Moment and I
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.