Short jokes

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

What’s impossible?

Steven Walkings.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?

Rolling on ice.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

There are people weirder looking than me.

Like who?

Like people with Down syndrome.

Trump's releasing the files.

To catch all the pedophiles.

He didn't know Epstein.

Didn't touch any teens.

I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"