Short jokes
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.