Short jokes
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ahoy Mateys.
Ahoy Mateys who?
Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
eeeeeee.
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
Iβm gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
What was Hitler known for?
His exceptional cost efficiency.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?
Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
Jamal
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.