Short jokes
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?