Short jokes

Short jokes

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Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"