Short jokes
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Whatβs a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? πΈ
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!