Short jokes

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?

It had nine shots and seven chasers!

To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.

Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.

Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!

Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?

I'm ta ping it, some ting won.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.

Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!

My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?

Me: (¬‿¬)

Suck my pp!

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"