Short jokes
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
When an African has a twin, your me??
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜