Short jokes
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
It's a RUF life in Africa.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.