Short jokes
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.
You'd look great With a knife in your back.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?