Short jokes
I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Porn *sex noises*
Let me Lickitung until you Squirtle.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
I put the D in Children.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
Penis.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.