Short jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Atom
Electron
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Your family.
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
Yo mama is so fat, she brought a pencil to early intervention!
What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You look run down." The guy says, "No, I've come on my bike!"
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.