Short jokes
Why?
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Heil Kyle!
Boggy
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"