Short jokes
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
Laugh.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?
Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.