Short jokes
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
bröd
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.