Short jokes
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.