Short jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
Actually doing homework.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.