Short jokes

Short Jokes

Mama

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

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  • Sign

    Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.

    Cereal

    I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.

    Dog

    I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.

    Time

    I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

    Guy

    The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

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  • Weed

    Roses are red, I like weed,

    If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."

    Dog

    One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."

    The other said, "Really? I like my bed."

    Hooker

    What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.

    Hooker

    What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

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  • Man

    A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

    God

    I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.