Short jokes
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Charlie.
Charlie who?
Charlie Brown! Good grief!
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
Hey, what's up?
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.