Short jokes
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
l li
ll l_
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"