Short jokes
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
What did the cat say when she stubbed her toe?
"(Me)owwww!"
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
The earth is not round.
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What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)