Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
Short Jokes
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
This is funny.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
I like unicorns.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Don't bully. Lol.
