Short jokes
Hi Andrew, this is Nick.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.