To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
Short Jokes
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
Incest is wincest.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
This is American politics that is not true.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Hi. I am Joe.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.