Short jokes
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Cyber bully: Your mom giey.
Me: nO U
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
I am cool.
Hahahahahahaha!
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
RIP K.
When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."