Short jokes
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Up your butt with a coconut!
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?