Short jokes
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Slit your wrists.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Did you?
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.