What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
Short Jokes
"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"
Other person: "We will be fine."
10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."
Which country makes me crack the fuck up?
LAUGHghanistan.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
"Why did my name start with an L? Because it is lips, lol."
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Afghanistan.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.
What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
