Short jokes
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
Daday, chill, piss. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
Why go to sleep because he was bossy?
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?
'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!