Short jokes
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!