Shop jokes
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Yo mama so poor, she chased a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.