Stephen Hawking walked to the shop I lied đ
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isnât home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesnât need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts âVoodoo Dick, the door!â The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. âVoodoo Dick, the lamp!â The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsierâs desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. âVoodoo Dick, return to your box!â The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: âThe cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.â says the cashier. âYou must never forget that!â The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout âVoodoo Dick, my pussy!â The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just canât get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims âHelp, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it wonât come out!â The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. âVoodoo Dick my ass, bitch.â
Why don't Orphans go to the shops because when there mum leaves shes never coming back
This isn't a joke my dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago he still hasn't returned should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you"
(Lexa and Clarke from 'The 100' [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa...)
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
This boy said get get yo hairline straight I said girls don't have a hairline how about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worst then he did the first time.
where do t rexs shop dino stores.
If your going shopping at school what color would Iike to smell : True or False
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car? Open a pizza shop đ
Hey Jorden CalerendiĂĄ ur last name sounds like a sea food shop that i get my fish from. Ur roasting is trash just like u. Boy stop roastin on Addison and Gwen and others u prob 5 years old trying to dis like that. That roasting is like from 1920 get a life.
My Dad said he got me from the Shops and I remembered what grandpa said about him
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: Do you have chocolate filled ice cream? The man replies: We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one? Johnny replies: Sure. After that the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later the man comes with a ice cream and Johnny's phone. Johnny asks: How much for the ice cream? The man replies: Nothing, its on the house. After Johnny ate hes delicious ice cream, he searched for hes watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What shoe shop would be a Lesbains best friend decimen
Look, Bono is a great guy. But shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Whatâs the difference between a Michael Jackson and a shopping bag.
Is a dangerous for kids if put on their face the other one is used to carry groceries
Once youâve seen a shopping center, youâve seen a mall.
Why did the twin towers go shopping
To get some plane bread
Why does micheal Jackson like to shop at Walmart??? Little boys pants are half off
Welcome to Jimmyâs orphanage and pizza shop where todayâs loss is a sauce how may I help you