Shop jokes
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Slept in my Little Shop of Horrors T-shirt, woke up and could suddenly see more.
What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?
When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
POV: it's picture day, but you can't sit still, even though your mom told you to but you got to exsited, about and you were just in it for the icecream at the shop, and then your mom says sit still but you don't listen, and honestly that would be me fr, NOT THAT DEEP BRO........
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Stephen Hawking walked to the shop.
I lied 😄
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.