Shop jokes
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Kobi shops at Aldi.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.