Shop Jokes

The other day me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts I was wearing a black top she was wearing a stripy top we were arguing abt who was more creative when she asked to prove that I am I just said "u buy ur stripes, I make mine"

walk in to a gun store everything was half off I didn't know back to school shopping started

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods and I was going to tell him nice fake airpods but it was his hearing aids

Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag

One is made of plastic and bad for kids the other one holds shopping

What did Batman do when he went shopping?

Got ham!

Q:Why do orphans eat cereal with water? A:Because their dad is shopping for the milk.

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike. Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would out and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle. It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.