New Shop Jokes

were gonna have to kill

no good jack and jill

they’re draining the economy doooown!

they’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill jack’s seed

they’ve ruined our wonderful town!

were gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill

they have no moralityyyy

they’re spreading degeneracy

we aint what we used to be

we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill!

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana

they went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers

next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years

we’re gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill!

they’ve banked off buying boooze!

they’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice

corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

we’re gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill

their kids’re in the business tooo!

they’re draining all our banks

give em well deserved spanks

we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill

jack and jill netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaaake

what a blunder, there was no rubber, now

they’re a house of eeiiight

a bolt went off, they opened shop

to resell their porn and lean

it all went swell, but for us, well

we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL JACK AND JILL!

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!

Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?

To get his RHYMES in TUNE

Whats the difference between your dad and grocery shopping he didn't come back with the milk

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off? A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"