Shoes jokes
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
What are priests' favorite shoe?
White Vans.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!