Shoes jokes
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.
The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.