Sexuality jokes

Big black ball sacks.

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?

Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-alot-a-puss.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

I'm horny and gay.

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

I joined the military for the group showers.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Gay dik.

Smol Dik.

Plastik Dik.

Rubeh Dik.

Smooth Dik.

Metahl Dik.

Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.