Sexuality jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-alot-a-puss.

Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.

I'm horny and gay.

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.

Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

I joined the military for the group showers.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?

The hairline is way straighter.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.