Kilometer jokes

I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?

Kilometers Morales.

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.

What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?

A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.

Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.

I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.