Sexuality jokes

What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?

Lickalotapuss.

She really wanted a boner.

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

What do you call a lesbian pirate?

Red Beard.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

I'm gay.

What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?

My dick.

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

How do you know that your sister is on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes weird.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

Why don’t orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call “daddy.”

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

I'm gay, lol.

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.