Sexuality jokes

Can I put my balls in your jaws?

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger gun.

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?

I like alottopuss.

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?

She unlocks the handcuffs.

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.

What’s worse than finger banging your sister?

Finding your dad’s wedding ring.

Why are most vacuums gay?

They’re always coming out of the closet.