Sex jokes
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Man, I miss Savor, savor these balls in ya mouth!
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
Memes
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."