Sex jokes

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

A: Cum on your cousin's face.

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

Why do vegans use blowjobs?

Because they can’t take real meat.

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

69.

I charge 50 bucks a suck.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.

A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

I eat dick.

Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.

Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?

Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.