Sex jokes

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Nancy, the throat goat!

What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Why do orphans have sex?

To call someone "daddy"!

"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

Man, I miss Savor, savor these balls in ya mouth!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.

"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!