Sex jokes
Swallow cum, not gum.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?
Memes
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
A condom!
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
Dick sucking.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂