Sex jokes

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

Are you a race car?

Cuz I’m tryna fuck.

Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?

The prostitute can blow you more than once.

If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

How do you tell when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

My dick while I'm doing it.

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

My dick.

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?

Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

There are only two genders.

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!